Guitarists

Top ten rock guitarists of all time is an awfully subjective first list. How do you figure out the top ten? Total records sold by the band the guy plays in? Total number of grammys? Total number of tickets sold? Fuck all that, then I'd end up with some asshole from Aerosmith as #1 and I won't have it. So I'll just base if off my favorite bands or individuals and if you don't like it, express yourself by telling me how bad I suck and that I don't know shit.

Here is the top 10:

10.Zakk Wylde. I know the knock on Zakk: every song he did with Ozzy sounds exactly the same or sounds exactly like a BLS song. So what, he still rips and you can tell a Zakk Wylde song from anyone else every time based off his trademark sound.

9. The Edge. I am not a U2 fan. But I will concede that even though it's extremely douchey to call yourself "the edge", the dude can play.

8. Jeff Beck. Beck is one of those dudes who probably learned how to play when he was 10 or 11 and has done nothing since but practice new ways to play and new sounds. You'd be out drinking beers and smoking weed, Beck would be in his garage practicing. He's like the Peyton Manning of guitar, he just keeps working.

7. Jimmy Page. Just awesome. He probably should be higher on this list but he hasn't done much mainstream stuff since Zeppelin broke up.

6. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Another guy like Wylde: you can recognize SRV songs from his sound alone. Sucks that he died young.

5. Slash. I'm dating myself, but I saw Metallica open for GNR at the Rose Bowl in 1993. I can't tell you how pumped I was to see my two favorite bands, until Axl pulled one of his normal prima donna routines and stormed off the stage because half the crowd left after Metallica's set. Anyway, Slash made GNR what it was. Axl could caterwaul into the mic for hours, but he'd of been exposed as an average singer if he didn't have Slash ripping it up next to him.

4. Kirk Hammett. Hammett takes a lot of shit from Metallica purists who say that Metallica IS James Hetfield and that Hetfields rythm guitar is what gives Metallica its sound. I disagree. I think Hammett fucking rips.

3. Jimi Hendrix. I really wanted to put Jimi #1. Really, I did. His stuff was awesome, the problem is that I wasn't alive when he was so it's hard for me to appreciate how much he changed rock. On a historical level, I know he did, but I didn't live through it. That doesn't change the fact that I still think he's awesome, I just couldn't put him ahead of #1 and #2. Plus he lost points for banging Janis Joplin. She looked like Mrs Fratelli from The Goonies.

2. Randy Rhoads. Why do all the great guitarists die young? Randy Rhoads, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, etc... Randy and Ozzy together were better than Sabbath and Randy was the reason. Ozzy should be thankful that he has what he has today because of Randy. After Sabbath broke up, Ozzy was finished, but finding Randy and playing together saved him. Randy Rhoads kicks ass.

1. Eddie Van Halen. I'm not a VH fan either. But Eddie can play the fuck out of a guitar. I don't think anyone would debate that. Eddie Van Halen FTW.

Honorable mention: Dimebag Darrell, Eric Clapton (fucking sue me, I don't love Clapton), Carlos Santana, Todd Marinovich